S
igmund Freud says “a person’s name is the single context
of human memory most apt to be forgotten.”
Feelings of embarrassment and social ineptitude are conveyed
through this forgetfulness, and unfortunately, the problem persists
daily. The ability to remember names is an important skill that
gives you an advantage in social and business settings. However,
the way you associate and remember names is based on your learning
style and personality type.
The following list of ten effective ways to remember names combines
visual, aural and strategic techniques. Once you find the best
fit for you, it will become easier to avoid muttering the most
awkward and impersonal sentence in the English language: “Hey
you!”
Repetition, Repetition, Repetition
As soon as you hear their name, repeat it back to the person.
“It’s good to finally meet you, Karen—I hear you’re the expert
on mufflers.”
If you don’t do this, you will forget her name within ten
seconds of meeting her. Also be sure to repeat the name aloud
in the beginning, during and at the end of the conversation.
This will allow you to widen various areas of your memory circuit.
“That’s a great story Stephanie!” “Wow Tony, you obviously
know your hockey.” If you speak the name, hear the name, and
listen to yourself say the name, you will remember it.
Inquiry
The number one rule in interpersonal communication is to
show a genuine interest in the other person. So, ask your new
colleague to explain the personal significance of their name.
Ask if they go by a nickname. Inquire about the culture from
which their name was derived. The spelling question is also
effective. Even if Dave or Bob is only spelled one way you can
always ask if they prefer “Dave,” “David,” “Bobby” or “Robert.”
In so doing, you show them you care about them as a person.
You also transform their name from an arbitrary fact into a
meaningful representation of them. Ultimately, you will flatter
them and make them feel appreciated.
Dramatize Faces
You probably remember faces better than you remember names.
Great! This will only make it easier when you dramatize someone’s
face and associate facial feature with their name. For example,
if their nose or hair is particularly memorable, make a connection
using alliteration with their name. Brian has bright red hair.
Lucy has a long nose.
The trick is to make your associations and dramatizations memorable
and interesting. Remember, that which is exaggerated and ridiculous
is memorable.
Forget About You
“Did I give him the ‘cold fish’ handshake?” “Did I even
look into her eyes?” “Do you think she noticed the logo on my
company briefcase?” If you try too hard to make a good first
impression, odds are you will have no idea to whom you make
a good first impression to!
So don’t think about yourself! Forget about you! Concentrate
on them. When you become too self-conscious and nervous during
the moment of introduction, it will interfere with your memory.
Write Them Down
If you are a visual learner, write down the name of the
person. This is a flawless method to remember. Most networking
functions and meetings take place where tables, pens and paper
are available.
Throughout the conversation, look down at the name in front
of you, and then look at the person. Maria. Then look at the
name again. Maria. Then look at the person again. Maria. You’ll
never forget.
The additional benefit when you do this, unbeknownst to you,
is that at least one other person in your group will see you
write the name down. Talk about a good first impression!
Inner Monologue
Imagine you’ve already used Samantha’s name during the conversation.
You seem to have it committed to memory. Then again, you don’t
want to overuse her name aurally. Even if a person’s name is
the sweetest sound they will ever hear, you don’t want to make
it too obvious that you use the repetition trick.
Fortunately, there are countless opportunities during the conversation
to quickly say the name to yourself while you look at their
face: while they get a pen, while they take a drink, while they
get something out of their desk, while they laugh at your hilarious
joke.
It only takes a few seconds to look at someone and silently
think to yourself, “Samantha. Samantha. Samantha.” Don’t worry;
you won’t miss anything if you choose to do this at the appropriate
times.
Introduce Someone Else
“Have you met my coworker Patty?” you ask the nameless person.
“I don’t believe I have,” he says, “My name is Roger. It’s nice
to meet you Patty.” Roger. That’s his name! You thought it was
Antonio! Thank God you introduced him to someone else or you
would be floating up the eponymous creek.
Furthermore, if you introduce someone you just met to another
person, it allows you to: take control of the conversation,
show your willingness to encourage connections and expand someone
else’s network of colleagues.
Listen and Look for Name Freebies
More often than not, you won’t be the only person who knows
the name of your new colleague. This means that other people
will say their name, and you will be reminded. No charge. All
you have to do is pay attention.
Also remember to keep your eyes open for subtle, visual reminders
such as business cards, receipts, nametags, jewelry, table tents
and personal papers. Without getting too nosey, it will be easy
to identify these “name freebies” that paint you out of your
memory corners.
These ten effective techniques to remember names will be helpful
to cross the chasm between you and a potential colleague or
associate. When you identify and amplify someone’s name, you
won’t suffer a loss of face. Ultimately, your interactions and
conversations will become more personal and comfortable.
Practice. Practice. Practice. That’s the hard part. But over
time you will learn how these different techniques for name
memory will work best for you.
Attitude. Attitude. Attitude. That’s the easy part. However,
while practice enhances your name memory over time, it only
takes a few seconds to decide to change your attitude. Don’t
yourself that you can’t remember names. In fact, from this moment
on, you are no longer bad with names. Combine this new attitude
with your recently acquired skills, and you’ll never have to
say “Hey you!” again.
Author Information:
Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker and the author of HELLO
my name is Scott, The Power of Approachability and How To Be
That Guy. He helps people MAXIMIZE their personal and professional
approachability - one conversation at a time. To book Scott
for your next association meeting, conference or corporate event,
contact Front Porch Productions at 314/256-1800 or
www.hellomynameisscott.com .
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